


Holding Onto You

by obsessive2105



Category: Strictly Come Dancing RPF
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff, Follow up, Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-01-05 23:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21217094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessive2105/pseuds/obsessive2105
Summary: Emma’s left heartbroken over Neil’s rejection - but is it truly over for the budding romance?





	1. Hold Your Hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InLovewithLove_93](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InLovewithLove_93/gifts).

> Helloooooo. I’ve reinvented this account more times than I’ve attempted to get tattooed without ID.
> 
> But basically, I read a fan fiction on this pairing called ‘Dancing Around’ by InLoveWith_93 - and it inspired me to write this straight away!! So as soon as I got the notification, with them saying they’d be cool with me publishing it, I took straight to archive!! 
> 
> Thank you for being a great writer!!!
> 
> And hopefully I’ll start posting again :)

It happens every week, but it never seems to get easier; losing someone to the dance off always cut deep, regardless of who goes. Catherine and Johannes were a beautiful couple. 'Thank you for accepting me for who I am' - That's what Johannes said. Emma felt that. She's always been the oddball of the group, the one no one ever seemed to understand. Strictly is potentially the only real family she's ever had, they're the only people who've truly accepted her quirks. While she loved working as an actress, the Eastenders cast didn't seem to 'get' her. Of course, they were lovely - she considered each of them a friend. But the family dynamic, something the rest of them clearly felt, seemed to leave Emma out.

After saying her goodbyes, she walks into her dressing room - alone - before redressing into some comfortable clothes and removing all her makeup. It's rare that she ever went out without; even after her skin's been through hell with the costume makeup, she'll still slap on a layer of foundation before leaving her dressing room and facing the world. 

As she's about to unzip her personal makeup case, she catches a glance of herself in the mirror: it startles her. She hadn't really seen herself bare-faced since before strictly begun. Due to all of the excessive makeup needed to battle studio lights, a small area of acne had appeared on the side of her face. Maybe it was stupid, but Emma's natural reaction was for a small tear to drizzle down her cheek. She knew that crying over a few spots was pathetic, but she'd spent her entire life trying to be perfect, trying to please every single person she came across. The moment that any sign of imperfection crept up, it rocked her emotional state.

Despite the passing compliments on her appearance she'd receive in the Elstree corridors, Emma simply didn't see herself as beautiful, or even pretty. To be brutally truthful, she didn't see much worth in herself at all. Her glimmer of hope occurred three weeks ago, after Anneka's elimination. As she was walking down from Claudia's corner, Neil had grabbed her hand; it was the first time in years she felt even remotely wanted, although the moment only lasted for a few seconds. But then, as always, it went wrong. The same way everything good in her life seems to.

Week 3 -- After Anneka's elimination.

"I'm not as oblivious as you'd think" Anton smiles. "He likes you too."  
Emma softly bites her lip "I don't know what you're talking about.." she says, attempting to subtly glance over towards the handsome professional.  
"Yeah, sure" Anton replies, rolling his eyes. "Go and speak to him. You'll regret it if you don't" he comments, before gently pecking her cheek and departing, leaving her alone to think about what she wants to do.

In the middle of the ballroom, her eyes move downwards, unsure on if she should take Anton's advice. While the moment of holding Neil's hand was potentially the most magical moment of her strictly experience, thus far, it surely can't be significant? Granted, she'd do almost anything for it to mean as much to him as it did for her - but she can't believe that, for Neil, it was anything more than friendly affection. After all, there's no reason for Neil to want her; he dances with the most beautiful woman in Alex every week. Plus, Emma was wearing such a short dress for her movie inspired number, it can't be flattering on someone like her. 

"Lost in thought?" A voice asks, coming up from behind her.

Startling slightly, Emma looks up to see Neil stood opposite her, looking ever so handsome; he just looked so soft and kind, yet still so manly. What she would't give to be wrapped up, protected, in his strong arms.. It wasn't like her to feel this way about a person, but there was something about Neil, causing her heart to beat just that bit faster.

"I.. I was thinking about n-next weeks dance." She manages to think of a response, stuttering her first few words.  
"What've you got?"  
"Viennese waltz.. Anton's been on at me for my frame not being right. Apparently, there's too much 'gapping'. Whatever that means." Emma chuckles, attempting to resist the glow rising to her cheeks.

Smiling softly, Neil steps forward and gently takes her hand once again - Emma's breath hitches, but luckily, Neil doesn't appear to notice. The strong dancer delicately places her arms into a ballroom frame, she instinctively betters her posture. Neil easily joins her in hold, looking at her with sweet eyes.

"You've got your frame near perfect. But Anton's right about the gapping. Just step a little closer." He instructs.  
"C-closer...?" Emma breaths, unable to break eye contact.  
Neil's eyes encourage her to move. Reluctantly, she takes a step forward, so that there's absolute no space between the pair. To Neil, being so close to a woman in this way was a day job; to Emma, she was struggling to keep her heart rate steady.  
"That's it! All sorted, now you can impress Anton on Monday.." Neil says before stepping away from the brunette.  
Obviously, Emma would've loved to stay there, with him, for so much longer. But, something which took her by surprise, when he stepped back, he left his hand intertwined with hers.  
"Th.. Thank you, Neil.."  
"It's alright. Come 'ere" he says, before using their locked hands to suddenly spin Emma around.  
The beautiful actress, although shocked, couldn't help but burst out with joyous laughter. This was where she wanted to exist.. but just the moment will do her fine, for now at least.

Present

Emma wipes the tear away from her face, hating how weak she was. That night was one of the happiest she's ever experienced. But the dat after.. he wasn't there. Or the day after that. Soon, it was a week that went by, a week where he completely shut her out. And after that, it was two weeks. Now, it was three. It was the fact that she had no clue what she did wrong which upset her. But she had to get over it. In a way, it was better for Neil to ignore her - it avoided getting her hopes up in the name of a moment which probably only existed in her mind.

"He likes you too" Anton had told her. But it was obviously a lie, that was apparent to her now. No matter how much she craved his affection, she simply had to get used to the fact that Neil didn't want someone like her. And the worst part? She didn't blame him. Because it wasn't just Neil, it was absolutely everyone. No one wanted Emma, not even herself.

Breaking her chain of gloomy thought, she hears a crash and a groan of pain from outside her dressing room door. Curiosity overtaking her, Emma runs out of the room to investigate. Staring back at her was the sight of Neil lying on the floor, clearly in agony - he had obviously slipped on his temporary crutches (he'd injured his ankle about an hour before the Halloween special went live). For some reason, there were flowers on the floor by him.

"Neil? What happened?" She asks, panicked, walking over and crouching down beside him.  
"I just slipped.." Neil answers, his voice evidently strained from the pain.  
"Come on, I'll help. Just don't put weight on it.." Emma says kindly, picking up his crutches with one arm and holding Neil up with the other. He picks up the bouquet flowers.  
Granted, Emma's head was telling her that caring for Neil was a bad idea, but her heart wanted nothing more than to look after him, in hopes that he would then look after her in return. Besides, it would be cruel to simply let him be in pain - hearing him cry out in discomfort near broke her heart.

She helps him into her dressing room, gently letting him down on the sofa, placing his crutches against the table.  
"I'll get you some ice, hold on.." Emma says before turning around. He grabs her hand, stopping her in her tracks, chills running down he spine, her mind remembering the last time he did this.  
"Stay.." he half begs, his eyes with a look of desperation.  
Unable to resist his honey-sweet voice, she sits back down with him, allowing him to delicately tighten his grip on her hand.  
"You had quite a fall.." She speaks, refusing to look him in the eye.  
"Yeah.." he says, mindlessly. "I don't think I've ever seen you without makeup, before.."  
Emma turns her face almost instantly. There was a reason that he's never seen her without makeup, hardly anyone had. She didn't want him to see her this way, he'd find her even more hideous than he probably already does.  
"I'm sorry.." She whispers.  
"Why..? You look beautiful.." he says, both genuinely and softly.  
Emma immediately turns and looks at him properly for the first time tonight. There was no hint of a lie in his tone. But how couldn't he be lying? How could he see beauty in her bare face..?  
"I.. I'm not." She denies. "Beautiful.. I'm just not."  
"You are.. you have the brightest eyes I've ever seen, and you're the most natural beauty.." Neil quietly states, using his free hand to tuck a strand of her soft hair behind her ear.  
Emma was beginning to loose herself into the moment; into his eyes; into him.  
Her heart was aching for him to take things further, for him to lean closer, hold her more tightly, shower her in more compliments, despite her not deserving them. She could almost let herself give into him, if only this were two weeks ago. 

No matter how much Emma was desperate for her heart to win, her head was reminding her that Neil shut her out for three weeks, completely ignoring her. It goes without saying, it entirely broke her. Emma wanted Neil. But she couldn't believe that Neil wanted her, not now. 

"Neil.." She begins.  
"Shh.." he whispers, one of his hands becoming entangled in her brown locks. "Beautiful Emma.."  
A tear runs down her cheek. What was happening to her? She wanted nothing more than to surrender herself to him, let him have her, hide away from the world in his arms. But how could she? How could she let herself fall for him when, the next day, he'll probably be cold as ice.  
"Stop." She states tearfully, abruptly standing, cutting herself off from any form of physical contact with him.  
It broke her heart to not be clutching onto his hand, to not have him so close. But Neil doesn't care about her the way she needs him to. It was torturous enough, having to walk away from someone you're falling for; imagine the pain of being walked away from by the person you've already fallen for. Right now, that's the way Emma was heading. And she had to put a stop to it. 

"I..I'm going to get you that ice.." She announces weakly before striding out of the room.  
"Emma!" Neil calls for her, standing up also, but soon buckling back onto the sofa due to his ankle. He stays sat down, with his head in his hands.

Emma steps into the Elstree physio room, kindly asks for an ice pack and then elegantly leaves again. Before heading back to Neil, she leans against the corridor wall, taking a deep breath. 'Beautiful' he said. But she isn't. At least, she doesn't feel as though she is. His gorgeous face.. he didn't seem to be lying. Maybe he really does believe she's pretty? All Emma wants to do is turn back the clock. Demand Neil give an explanation as to why he's ignoring her, make things up, then she could become his. But too much time has past for that. He's been avoiding her for too long. Maybe there was a future for the pair? But not in this universe. An alternate one, maybe. But this world holds little, if any, hope.

Slowly making her way back to Neil, Emma promises herself that she'll listen to her head; listening to her heart has only ever caused more harm than good.

Emma reluctantly steps back into her dressing room and sees Neil sat down, clutching his ankle, not realising Emma entered. He looks up once he hears the door closing. Without a word, Emma places the ice pack onto his ankle, using all her might to fight back tears. She was praying that he wouldn't speak. All it would take was for him to say her name once, and she would be a mess.  
"Thank you.." he says quietly.  
"It's.. it's fine." Emma sighs.  
"Those flowers were supposed to be for you.." Neil frowns, glancing over at the dropped flowers.

Emma didn't know how to react. Why would he buy her flowers when he hasn't said a word to her all week? Is it a game of some sort? She doesn't know. Part of her wants to play along, allow him to toy with her. Regardless of the inevitable heartbreak, it'll be worth it, to have him, even for a short while. But the heartbreak of letting him go now was bad enough, let alone if she had let herself love him. 

"They were to say sorry.." he explains.  
"Sorry?"  
Neil sighs. "Being a dick. Ignoring you.. I hated not speaking to you."  
Emma remains wordless. She's been receiving the silent treatment for weeks, and he's claiming that he hated it? It almost angered her. Only almost. She didn't have it in her to be angry at such an angelic looking face.  
"The day after Anneka was eliminated.. screenshots circulated online of us holding hands.." he continues.  
"Oh.." Emma says solemnly, coming to a realisation. "I.. I'm sorry."  
"Sorry? What for?"  
"Embarrassing you." She sniffles.  
Immediately, Neil takes back both of her hands, pressing his forehead against hers.  
"No.. no. I was proud to be holding your hand that night. I'm proud to be holding them now." Neil reassures her.  
"Then why shut me out?" Emma openly cries.  
"To protect you!" He exclaims. "Me and Kat have been separated a long time, but we only announced our split a few months ago. If the press thought I was with another woman, they'd drag her through the mud. Call her a home wrecker, worse than that.. I didn't want that to happen to you.." 

Emma takes a deep breath. Protect her?  
"Why wouldn't you just tell me that..?" She asks, still full of tears.  
"I was scared. Scared I'd mess things up.. seems I've already done that though." He finishes, clearly disheartened.  
Emma can't bring herself to reply - her heart was beating a million times per second, her eyes were puffy and emotional. What does he mean by 'messed things up'? What were these 'things'?  
Not knowing what to say, Emma simply throws her arms around her handsome dancer, sobbing into his chest. Screw listening to her head, her reason for not trusting him was gone. He was simply trying to protect her. Now, all she has is her heart. And her heart wants, needs Neil.

"Please don't cry.." Neil whispers, holding her closely with one arm, and using his free arm to stroke her hair.  
Emma's sobbing quietens, but she buries her head further into Neil's chest, feeling comforted by his muscular arms. As long as she's here, she can pretend the real world doesn't exist, pretend that Neil is her only world.  
"Why are you hiding..?" He asks softly.  
Emma's breathing's shaky as she replies honestly. "Because I'm scared.. Scared that I'm not good enough, pretty enough.."

Neil allows her to sob for a little longer, giving her the chance to calm down before continuing any further. He left his hand tangled in her hair, it seemed to give her comfort.  
"You are so much more than good enough.. so talented, so beautiful.." 

After a long silence, Emma pulls back and gazes into Neil's eyes for as long as she can. 

"Let me kiss you.." Neil pleads, grabbing her hand once again.  
Without hesitation, Emma nods, needing to be entirely his, longing for every ounce of his love and affection.  
Ever so delicately, Neil leans forward, placing his lips onto Emma's, and the two begin to slowly kiss, taking their time to show one other their feelings. This is what they both needed. 

Each other.


	2. My Winner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KELVIN WON!!
> 
> Literally just some random fluff on this pairing. Very short, I didn't put in much effort lol.
> 
> I might turn this into a series, we'll see x
> 
> Let me know if you'd want that <3

"Kelvin! Kelvin!" The strictly family chanted as they all stumbled down the corridor.

They were on their way to the wrap party, a way of celebrating the most amazing past few months. Everyone was in such high spirits, especially Oti and Kelvin. They'd only gone and won! It was safe to say that they had the smiliest faces in the room. Although, they definitely weren't the only smiles. No one felt down or even remotely sad; maybe a little disappointed that the experience has come to an end, but they were overwhelmingly grateful that it happened in the first place. Nothing could've prepared them for the joy it brought them. 

Emma was walking along with the rest of the crowd, her eyes twinkling with pure elation. Strictly had given her so much - amazing friends, new found confidence, and a budding romance with the most handsome dancer. Her and Neil were taking things very slow, but they were definitely going well. Better than well, even; he made her heart flutter. She couldn't help but feel like she'd won, despite not being the official winner. After all, Emma gained so much from the whole thing, she didn't need a glitterball to validate her happiness.

Suddenly, Anton wrapped his arms around her, stopping her in her tracks. She looks up at him with wide eyes, he seemed very proud of her, and she couldn't have asked for much more.

"How do you feel..?" Anton asks.  
Emma sighs. "Wonderful."  
"I just thought I'd let you know.. you have an admirer." He points out, gesturing over to Neil, who was leaning against the wall while gazing at his dancing queen.

Emma did her best to conceal any blushing. While she was sure Anton had her suspicions about her and Neil, he didn't officially know anything. Besides, Neil and Emma weren't technically a couple yet; they were definitely dating and they had no eyes for anyone else, but they weren't 'in a relationship' per say. But they could definitely see themselves blossoming into a amazing couple, even if not quite yet.

"I do remember telling you a while ago that he liked you." Anton says with a smug grin.

Emma chuckles, kissing Anton's cheek before walking over to Neil; He immediately pulled her into a sweet hug. By this point, everyone else had left the building and were scrambling into taxis towards the nearest nightclub, leaving Neil and Emma all alone in the hallway. The young woman loved the feeling of his muscles wrapped around her, she simply felt so safe and secure. Neil pulls back, giving her a light peck on the cheek before intently staring into her bright eyes. 

"I know I probably shouldn't have.. but I voted for you" he chuckles.  
"Neil! You're a pro, you're not supposed to be biased!" Emma playfully scolds.  
Neil takes hold of her waist and swiftly switches their places, leaving Emma pressed against the wall. "It's hard to not be biased with someone like you.." he whispers, leaning into Emma to kiss her.

The beautiful brunette carefully places her hand on his chest, stopping him.

"Anyone could see us.." She points out, looking around at the open space.  
"Emma, they'll all be in taxis by now... besides, I'd be surprised if they haven't already guessed." Neil chuckles.

Emma and Neil agreed to keep their romance private, for now at least. It wasn't that they weren't proud to be dating each other, in fact, it was very opposite. They simply wanted their relationship to be entirely about them, without any outside influence. Anton was perhaps the only exception to this, given that he saw Neil's attraction before Emma did. But overall, it was kept secret. That being said, everyone could sense that romance was in the air - even if they couldn't particularly work out who.

"My dressing room is down the hall..?" Emma suggests, her smile huge.

Nodding, Neil takes Emma's hand and walks her down the corridor and through her dressing room door. Once the door was shut, and they were very much in private, Neil takes what he wanted and delicately kisses Emma's lips. She was still wearing her beautiful waltz gown, and he couldn't quite believe how stunning she looked. While watching her dance the sweet waltz with Anton, he couldn't help but be jealous of him - he was beginning to crave the thought of dancing around a ballroom so romantically with her.

"Hey.. why don't we go out tonight? Just me and you? Ditch the wrap party and do our own thing?" Neil suggests, tightening his grip on her hands.  
"Neil, you know we can't.. besides, we'll regret not being there eventually.." Emma reasons. "But, if the hangover isn't too bad.. I'm free all day tomorrow?" She compromises, leaning into his chest. 

Smiling to himself, Neil wraps his arms around her. 

Emma may not have won the Glitterball, but this very moment proved to her that she was a winner anyway. Kelvin deserved that trophy more than anyone, because what Emma needed couldn't be found in winning.

She found it in Neil.

And neither of them could wait to find out how life would turn out, now that they'd finally found each other.


	3. Want, Need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this a smut but lol I'm awful at writing that so this is basically mature fluff.

A smiley Emma looks at herself in the mirror - maybe a different lipstick? Neil was coming over for the first time tonight. They'd been on a few dates together already; things between them had been going incredibly well ever since their first kiss in Emma's dressing room. A BBC dressing room may not appear to be such a romantic place, but for Neil and Emma, it was where their romance bloomed. Plus, they refuse to believe that they were the first pair of strictly stars to experience a stolen moment behind a dressing room door, or that they'd be the last. 

The night after their first kiss, Neil took his beauty out to a lovely little restaurant, where they were able to connect on a much deeper level. There was something about the way he made her laugh, something about the way he always knew what to say. There hasn't been a day that went by, after that night, where Neil wouldn't tell her how beautiful she was. Whilst she doesn't quite believe it yet, it still gave her butterflies to hear. 

After a perfect first date, people started to notice the very unsubtle glances towards each other in rehearsals. Two of the first people to realise, of course, were Anton and Alex - but they had their suspicious long before then. There was never a specific moment where they told people, there just came a point where everyone seemed to know. Granted, they did tell people eventually, but it definitely wasn't a surprise when they revealed it. Luckily, everyone agreed to keep it away from the papers - Neil and Emma deserved at least a little privacy, at least until after the competition had ended. Even if neither of them won, they would've left the competition with the greatest gift imaginable: each other.

In fact, Neil and Alex had been eliminated this week; While it was recorded on Saturday, the Sunday results show had just aired. Thankfully, Emma was able to survive. It might be selfish to think, but the thought of Neil having most of the week free from now on did make her quite happy. After she was done rehearsing with Anton, she could go home to Neil, and spend all the time in the world with him; he wouldn't be tired from rehearsing with Alex, he'd be able to pour all of his attention onto her. Just the thought sends shivers through her spine.

And that leads them to now: a cool Sunday night, inside Emma's apartment. She couldn't wait to see him again, even if she did only see him the day before. Despite their many, wonderful dates, they'd never been to each other's apartments, she felt nervous about it. Her reflection was worrying her, is this really how she looked? Of course, Emma was stunning, but she couldn't see that in herself, and she was worried that Neil may think she isn't too.

In an attempt to mask the nerves, Emma slaps on some red lipstick and a second layer of concealer. There. Passable. The brunette then takes to her closet, looking through the various dresses she's picked out as a potentiality for tonight. There were three to be precise; a sultry, body-con, little black dress; a fairly casual red dress and a lacy white boho number. Eventually deciding on the black, Emma gets dressed, then puts on some tall heels to complete the outfit. Glancing into her full length mirror, she ponders her appearance. 'Probably the best I'll get' she thinks to herself.

After a quick mental pep talk, her doorbell rings. Neil.

Emma takes a deep breath before walking to the door. She attempts to steady her heart rate, then slowly opens it. There stands a very handsome Neil, with his kind eyes and comforting smile. He was looking very suave in some smart, black trousers and a classic white shirt, with the top button undone. Rather gentlemanly, he refused to arrive empty handed - Neil loved buying Emma flowers, and tonight was no different. As always, Emma's composure near vanished the moment she laid eyes on him. No matter what, he always gave her this feeling that she couldn't quite explain.

Gently kissing her cheek, Neil passes her the gorgeous tulips and roses. She lifts them to her nose and smiles.

"I could start a florist with the amount of beautiful flowers you buy me." Emma chuckles. "I'm very lucky.."  
After a silent few moments of Neil gazing at his gorgeous date, he takes her by the hand. "I'm definitely the lucky one.. just look at you.." he whispers.

Emma's knees go weak, she could never deny how happy he makes her.

"Come in.." she invites.

As Neil steps inside, Emma goes to find a vase. He simply can't seem to pry his eyes away from her as she moves; the tight dress she'd put on was driving him mildly insane. The furthest they'd ever gone is kissing, but they'd both be lying if they didn't claim to have imagined, or at least thought, about something even more. Emma was absolutely perfect in Neil's eyes. When they first kissed, she wasn't wearing an ounce of makeup, a sight she'd only allow for Neil to see. And he had to admit, knowing how beautiful she was within that vulnerability made him wonder just how angelic she'd look in the vulnerability of being undressed.

"Sit down.. I'll pour us some wine." She smiles, hoping she didn't come across as too anxious.

Emma grabs two glasses and a bottle of red, then goes to join him on the couch. She places the wine glasses on the coffee table opposite them, and fills them both about half way before placing the wine bottle on the table also. Neil runs a hand through Emma's short hair, taking her attention away from the wine and onto him. Her bright eyes were fixed firmly on him, and there was little space between them.

"I..I.. You look very handsome.." she stumbles, his presence never failing to render her weak.  
Neil chuckles, a small blush across his cheeks. "Thank you.. listen, I wanted to talk to you about something.." he says, his face becoming slightly more serious.

Emma's eyes widen a little. He wants to talk? That's never portrayed to be a good thing.. but things have been going so prefect; he seemed to be happy to see her. And now he wants to.. talk? Being slightly fidgety from the nerves of that sentence, Emma sits up and leans over for her wine glass, taking a huge gulp to help calm her down. Despite their being no signs that Neil wasn't interested, she doesn't find it all too surprising that he isn't. After all, he's such a talented and wonderful man. Emma's just.. Emma.

"Hey.. don't worry, it's a good thing." Neil smiles reassuringly.   
Taking a sigh of relief, Emma puts her wine back down and slouches into his side. "Don't scare me like that.."  
"In all honesty.. I think it's me that could use some dutch courage." He states, clearing his through before taking a gulp of wine himself.

Once he'd nearly finished his glass, Neil turns back to Emma and smiles to himself. How lucky can one man be? To have a woman so sweet and alluring in his arms. He's been a fool to not ask this sooner.. but they were so caught up in their own perfect bubble, that it simply didn't enter his mind.. but he intends to change that. Although, it's really in Emma's hands to decide if it can happen or not.

"Neil..?" She encourages him.  
"Sorry.. well, I just wanted to ask you if.. if.." he stutters, causing Emma's eyes to deepen with curiosity. "I feel like we already are, but I haven't actually asked yet and.. well, I was hoping you'd be happy with me officially calling you my girlfriend.." 

Emma's blue eyes light up, her goofy and infectious smile brightening. Instantly, she throws her arms around him, resting her hands on the back of his neck as she kisses Neil's soft lips over and over. And to think that she was worried.. but he just wants to officially be in a relationship with her. To make it all the sweeter, the way he said 'feel like we already are' near melted her; knowing that he sees her in that light couldn't make her glow any more than it does.

Sweetly pulling back from her kisses, Neil softly chuckles. "I'm assuming that's a yes..?"  
"Oh of course it is.." She beams, leaning forward and kissing him more.

As their kisses naturally begin to deepen, the pair get lost in their feelings for each other, both of their hearts beating faster than they probably ever have. Emma would've done almost anything to have Neil and to be shown his affection - but the fact that he likes her just the way she is, without her having to do anything, is what's truly causing her to fall for him.

His beauty seemed to be pulling herself closer, despite their being no distance to begin with; Going with the flow and acting with desire, Neil reaches his hand around Emma's back and grabs her rear. The sudden feeling surprises the young woman, and she pulls back, letting him go.

Obviously apologetic, Neil takes her hands and kisses them sweetly. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry, Emma, I didn't mean to scare you.." he whispers, feeling guilty for startling his girlfriend.

Thinking to herself for a moment, Emma keeps her eyes on a regretful Neil. It wasn't that she didn't like Neil touching her that way, in fact, she did actually quite enjoy the thought of him wanting her that much. The only reason she pulled away was due to the shock. Granted, Emma had wondered how it would be if they were to go further than their kisses, but she hadn't imagined that Neil thought the same. Yes, they were a couple. But until now, it was only ever romantic. The idea of Neil wanting her in a sexual sense hadn't crossed her mind.

So now, she had to make a choice. Did she want to pursue her desires for Neil? Well, that was obvious to her. Of course she did. Emma clutches his hands a little tighter, leaning in to kiss him ever so gently.

"Don't be sorry.. I was just startled, that's all.." She says quietly, before kissing him once again. "I want you to.."

Using the grip on his hands, Emma guides his back around her, allowing Neil to rest his hands on her behind as they continue to kiss lovingly. Emma can feel her heart beating incredibly fast, definitely faster than it ever has done before. She's been married before, this isn't the first time something like this has happened to her - but it's definitely the first time it's happened with someone like Neil.

As he kisses his beauty, Neil moves one of his hands to gently stroke Emma's leg, leaving the other one resting on her arse. He could feel himself becoming hot under the collar; he wanted nothing more than to grab hold of her dress and rip apart the material, exposing Emma in all of her stunning glory. Of course, he knows he mustn't do that - he can sense that Emma would want him to be gentle, which he certainly doesn't mind, he'd do absolutely anything to make his girl happy. Plus, the last thing he'd ever want to do is scare her, Neil knows more than most how fragile she is.

"You're so beautiful, Emma.. " he whispers into their kiss.

The alluring brunette slowly pulls back, giving herself a moment to look into Neil's eyes; She found that she often does after Neil compliments her. It gives her an indicator towards if he's lying or not. So far, he never has. But that's because he doesn't need to. To Neil, Emma simply couldn't be more gorgeous. Being with her now, holding her so closely and intimately, there's nothing more he could ask for. Taking hold of her hand all those weeks ago was the best decision he's ever made; it led him to the woman of his dreams.

"I mean it.." he assures her quietly. "You're gorgeous.."  
"Oh Neil.. I.. I'm sorry.." she says, getting unexpectedly teary.

Pulling her into his chest, Neil holds Emma tightly while she has a moment to calm down in his arms. She feels silly for feeling emotional, she knows that Neil would never ask her to do anything she doesn't want to do. But as much as she wants this, wants Neil, she can't help but feel scared. Every partner she's ever been intimate with hasn't treated her the way they should've. Even her ex-husband didn't always pay attention to her signs of reluctance. Neil was different to them, she knew that. But the same anxieties were unfortunately still there.

"What's going on..? Talk to me.."   
"It's not that I don't want to - I do. But you tell me I'm beautiful everyday and.. it's so sweet but I'm scared that if you see me undressed, you won't think that anymore.." Emma opens up, feeling safe to do so.

Neil doesn't really know how to reply. He knew about Emma's lack of confidence, but not to this extent. As far as he knew, she was just a little self conscious; this is a bigger problem than he realised. Without doubt, Neil would find Emma stunning, regardless on what was underneath her clothes. But what use was that when Emma didn't feel beautiful at all? He just wanted to kiss her so much more, wrap her in cotton wool and shower her in compliments. And maybe that isn't the answer, but it's at least a start.

Leaning down and lightly kissing Emma's cheek, Neil begins rubs her back comfortingly.

"We don't have to.. I just want you to feel happy." He says, his voice sweet like honey.  
"You do make me happy. And I do want this. I.. I'm just nervous.."  
"But I don't want you to be nervous.. Emma, I don't need to have sex with you to show you I love you.."

Emma instantly does a double take. Did he just say that he loves her?

Of course, Neil had an idea in his mind of how tonight would go - he wanted to sleep with her. He wanted to make Emma feel so cherished and cared about. What man wouldn't that? Anyone who was lucky enough to be with Emma would surely want the same thing. But there was something much more significant between the pair than sexual tension. The connection they felt was beyond what they believed possible, especially considering it blossomed from hand holding.

But forgetting all of that - He just told her that he loved her!

"I.. Sorry, I wasn't planning on.."  
Cutting him off sweetly, Emma reaches forward and kisses his lips. "You just told me you love me.."  
"I.. I did, yeah.." He chuckles, smiling widely. "Obviously, I'm not expecting you to say it back or anything.. but, I do feel like I love you and.."  
Smiling goofily, somewhat holding back tears, Emma grabs hold of Neil's hands and thanks her lucky stars for the past few months. "Oh Neil.. I-I think I love you too.." 

Moments pass, moments with amazed glances and silly smiles; they didn't really know what to do. They knew that they loved each other, but they didn't know what couples are supposed to do after admitting that. There's unlikely a certain thing to do - the chances of there being any specific rules were small. With that being said, Emma decided to do exactly what she wanted. 

Screw this. Screw feeling too self conscious to be exposed in front of the man she loves. If he truly loves her, which he definitely does, he'll find her beautiful no matter what.

Emma leans forward and passionately kisses her Neil, reaching upwards and beginning to tug at his shirt's top button.

"Going back to before.. I know you'd never force me into anything.. " She says sweetly, as she manages to open his shirt further. "But I really, really want this.."   
Neil enjoys the moment of kissing her, she was simply so gorgeous. "Well then.. who am I to refuse a lady?"

After some more buttons had been undone, Neil's shirt was completely open; Emma slides the fabric down his shoulders, leaving him entirely half undressed. The brunette allows her hands to roam across his impressive muscles, in awe of how handsome one man could be. As Emma was admiring her lover's body, Neil moves his kisses from her lips to her neck, wanting to render her completely desperate - despite her already being close.

Emma closes her eyes as she lets herself enjoy what Neil's doing to her - the feeling of his soft lips across her sensitive flesh was driving her to insanity. After a few gentle kisses, they turned slightly needier. Neil began to suck lightly at Emma's neck, before eventually, he started to nibble along her skin. The way he handled her made Emma feel as though she was a young teenager again, worried at the idea of getting a hicky; The difference being that now, as a grown woman, she'd be proud to wear a mark given to her by her partner. 

Neil goes back to kiss Emma's mouth again, loving how it feels when their lips touch. As he lifts his hand to cup her cheek, he delicately grazes the side of her breast through the thin materiel of her dress, casing Emma to wonder how it would feel if Neil truly paid attention to her chest. Just the thought made her heart beat that bit faster. She knew that Neil just wanted to please her, so - despite her slight nerves - she decides to ask him for what she wants.

"Neil..?" She whispers. "W-will you..?"

Finding herself too infatuated to fully string together a sentence, Emma simply guides his hands to her chest, her eyes twinkling. Understanding what she wants, Neil begins to trail kisses along her collarbone, teasing her relentlessly. The handsome dancer reaches his arms around her, pulling her onto his lap so that her legs are either side of him. The sweet scent of her perfume intoxicated him, he felt so lucky to be with her. 

Finally, Neil stops being a tease and starts moving his kisses down the deep plunge of her dress. The feeling of Neil's lips along her cleavage was sending her insane; she bites her lip hard in an attempt to prevent herself from moaning too loudly. She had never really thought of herself as a sexual woman, in the way that she'd never felt 'sexy'. But the way that Neil was making her feel like a queen, it gave her such a surge of confidence. Neil simply made her feel wanted. Wanted and attractive: Two things which made her need him.

"May I..?" Neil questions, his hands riding up her legs, nearing the hem of her dress.  
"Of course.." She replies, still mildly breathless from the attention Neil gave to her chest.

Neil lifts the dress upwards, attentively admiring the slow reveal of Emma's body as the fabric leaves her amazing figure. Once the dress was completely off, he simply threw it to the side carelessly, not caring about anything other than Emma; her black, lacy underwear was perfectly showing off her curves, and he simply couldn't help but stare. Of course, Emma didn't mind him staring - in fact, she quite enjoyed the way he gazed. Admittedly, she did feel incredibly vulnerable, being without any fancy clothes to hide behind. But considering she was with Neil, she was genuinely happy to explore this vulnerability with him.

"God, you're so beautiful.." Neil mumbles, unable to pry his eyes away from the beauty in front of him.

Finding herself unable to resist, Emma spontaneously kisses Neil again, feeling herself becoming more aroused as he grabs hold of her waist. Now she isn't wearing her dress, she could feel more of her bare skin against Neil's topless body, and it was a feeling Emma was beginning to crave, she wanted more of him, all of him.

Standing up, Emma tightly grabs hold of Neil's hand and begins to pull him towards her bedroom door, kissing him continuously as she does. Nothing could've quite prepared her for what tonight brought, but she didn't care. This is exactly where she wanted to be, and Neil felt exactly the same way.

Granted, Neil didn't plan on telling her that he loved her, but he was being very truthful. But Emma was the most shocked by his confession - she'd spent most of her life believing she was completely unloveable, but then strictly came alone. The show proved to her that she was able to love herself first, then it proved someone else could love her too by giving her Neil. Perhaps she didn't need someone to love her, but she couldn't be more grateful than she already is.

"I love you.." Emma whispers, as Neil delicately places her down on the bed.


End file.
